Best excuses

[David Sedgwick]

Sorry I'm late. I was too busy reading, and posting on, the English Chess Forum.

It's the excuse I'm going to use when I arrive late for my London League match this evening.

I was only a few minutes late, so I didn't need the excuse. I proceeded to play rather indifferently, although I did ultimately win the game.

I had my excuse for that all ready. There were no scoresheets at Golden Lane (the London League venue) and I can't play without a proper scoresheet.

Then I got back home, read the thread, and found that scoresheet excuses had already been used.

[Peter Ackley]

10-12 years ago in a small, local, league my team-mates opponent came out with the best excuse I've heard to date.

"I lost as my wife handed me divorce papers as I was leaving the house".

[LozCooper]

One of the more unusual resignations I've heard about was "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to resign because the police are about to arrest me" It's probably best that I don't name the person involved

[Paul McKeown]

10-12 years ago in a small, local, league my team-mates opponent came out with the best excuse I've heard to date.

"I lost as my wife handed me divorce papers as I was leaving the house".

Hmmm, I once had an opponent who adjourned major material down, only to be incommunicado for aeons. [Strangely enough same opponent had adjourned major material down against a team mate in the home match only to say at the away match that he had resigned ages before. Strangely the league secretary didn't know anything about this either...] Having tried everything short of carrier pigeon, I managed to get hold of the fellow near the end of the season. No date, no place suited. In desperation I agreed to play at his house - 1.5 hours travel distant - on a Saturday morning. Turned up on time, this woman answers the door and snarled, "No, he doesn't live here, we're getting a divorce..."



And people sometimes wonder why adjournments aren't greeted with a universal welcome...

[Alex Holowczak]

10-12 years ago in a small, local, league my team-mates opponent came out with the best excuse I've heard to date.

"I lost as my wife handed me divorce papers as I was leaving the house".

Hmmm, I once had an opponent who adjourned major material down, only to be incommunicado for aeons. [Strangely enough same opponent had adjourned major material down against a team mate in the home match only to say at the away match that he had resigned ages before. Strangely the league secretary didn't know anything about this either...] Having tried everything short of carrier pigeon, I managed to get hold of the fellow near the end of the season. No date, no place suited. In desperation I agreed to play at his house - 1.5 hours travel distant - on a Saturday morning. Turned up on time, this woman answers the door and snarled, "No, he doesn't live here, we're getting a divorce..."



And people sometimes wonder why adjournments aren't greeted with a universal welcome...

Surely you could have claimed a win by default a long time before that happened?

[Adam Raoof]

I was once playing in a weekend tournament and my opponent, who was winning the event, didn't show. The next day he turned up and I asked him why he defaulted the game. It turned out he had been asleep in his car outside the venue, and the police had picked him up because he looked suspicious. They simply could not believe that he was playing chess all weekend, and arrested him...maybe it was the same guy who played Loz...

[Paul McKeown]

Surely you could have claimed a win by default a long time before that happened?

Alex,

You are undoubtedly right, but I wasn't all that long in England at the time, having come from the Netherlands within the previous 2 years, and wasn't really familiar with the protocol, nor would I have felt sure about doing something as bolshy as claiming a win in the face of a possible, "He say's" style argument via the league secretary. Now I would have no scruples with it. Before coming to England in 1997, I had experienced only two adjournments before. One in the mid 1980's as a schoolkid in Northern Ireland, playing in the Williamson Shield. The Williamson was possibly the only competition in the UCU or indeed in Ireland with adjournments; I ended up with a nightmare QNP -v- Q endgame that finished in the early hours of the morning past move 150 and a furious mother. The other was a game for York University in 1987 or thereabouts in some Cup competition against Hull. Happily my opponent, a fellow by the name of Chris Longford iirc, was civilised about the whole affair and resigned without resumption. Adjournments, are generally a strange throwback and rather a blight on English chess (although I do understand some of the arguments in their favour), and are quite a culture shock to people new to the English chess scene, particularly those who have played in other parts of the chess world.

Regards,
Paul

[Alex Holowczak]

Adjournments, are generally a strange throwback and rather a blight on English chess (although I do understand some of the arguments in their favour), and are quite a culture shock to people new to the English chess scene, particularly those who have played in other parts of the chess world.

You're right. The sole reason I can't field a team from Aston in the Birmingham League next season.

[Paul McKeown]

I was once playing in a weekend tournament and my opponent, who was winning the event, didn't show. The next day he turned up and I asked him why he defaulted the game. It turned out he had been asleep in his car outside the venue, and the police had picked him up because he looked suspicious. They simply could not believe that he was playing chess all weekend, and arrested him...maybe it was the same guy who played Loz...

Jim Stevenson tells the story about the time he and some friends (Chris Briscoe, Gary Kenworthy, Roberto Waldteufel) had a team, Bumbles Green, in the Hertfordshire League. Funnily enough the players lived in Essex, Middlesex, Surrey and Kent, none of them lived in Herts. at all. They were driving back one night from a match in Jim's battered out old red BMW, when they were stopped by the police, who asked who they were, where they had come from, where they were going, and on replying that they were chess players going to 4 separate and far flung locations in the Home Counties were promptly arrested and only released the next morning, if I remember the story right. There had been an armed robbery it seems and the police were having none of this quite obvious nonsense from such suspicious looking characters with the worst alibi ever heard in years of plodding...

[Simon Spivack]

Hmmm, I once had an opponent who adjourned major material down, only to be incommunicado for aeons.
...
And people sometimes wonder why adjournments aren't greeted with a universal welcome.

Perhaps the worst person to adjourn against in this neck of the woods is someone I shall call, for no particular reason, gaolbird.

In one match against a team I captained gaolbird adjourned a queen down, sans compensation. Unfortunately, there was no backgammon style double or quits option, there was nothing we could do. Anyway, come the resumption, which only got arranged after repeated chasing (for some reason he was unable to agree a date on the night of the first session), there was an absentee. My player contacted me, however, before I passed on the default claim to the league secretary my player came back, there was a message recorded on his answer phone, it contained, with profuse apologies, a request to resume! I told my player to ignore this message. I passed on the result to the league, which was accepted.

Several years later in the same league another player of mine adjourned in a highly favourable position against gaolbird. This time a date was arranged to play the game off. I thought nothing of it and neglected to warn my player. Later gaolbird got in contact to postpone, which was agreed. Alas gaolbird was in a rush, he would come back later to propose a new date, he never did. My player made phone call after phone call, to no avail. He finally got through. Regrettably gaolbird could not assent to any of the proposed dates, he was having trouble coming up with counter suggestions. At this point my player should have abandoned the pursuit and asked me to claim the game, however, in frustration, he told gaolbird, "xxx is the only sealed move not to lose, if you have played that, I'll offer a draw". Lo and behold, gaolbird revealed that he had, indeed, written xxx. The draw was agreed. Suspicious, my player later opened the envelope, xxx was not the sealed move. He contacted me. I told him that it would be his word against gaolbird's, the envelope had been opened, which could be used against us. Through gritted teeth I reported the draw.

One might consider gaolbird a bit of a fraud, the type of chap to fall out with a car park attendant and get his club thrown out.

I haven't seen gaolbird for years. I wonder where he could have ended up?

In my view, if a player cannot propose a date for resumption on the night, he should lose the game.

[Alex Holowczak]

In my view, if a player cannot propose a date for resumption on the night, he should lose the game.

That depends. If one player insists on an adjournment, and the other player is happy to carry on, then why should the person who is happy to carry on be forced into a decision over a date?

[Roger de Coverly]

In my view, if a player cannot propose a date for resumption on the night, he should lose the game.

I know of one league, which having abolished adjudication was forced to reinstate it.

When it came back, there were heavyweight conditions attached

(1) both players have to agree at the start of the game (the default option is qp finish)
(2) More importantly, the players have to agree the time of resumption before electing adjournment. Venue is where the game starts. In the absence of agreement, play defaults to qp.

That depends. If one player insists on an adjournment, and the other player is happy to carry on, then why should the person who is happy to carry on be forced into a decision over a date? .

Rules which give an adjournment option at the end of the session are IMHO bad, even though they are or were standard practice in many leagues. When events like the British or Hastings had adjournments, you had well defined session times so that at the end of the session, the player to move had to seal and the game resumed at the time specified in the tournament schedule. Simon would perhaps like the resumption time to be settled before play starts.

[Gavin Strachan]

My excuse for last week is:

I had to do 350 mile journey for business then play chess afterwards. I was also ill (I won't go into details) during the game. Apart from that he out played me...again.

[Simon Spivack]

Depend upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

When captaining and playing, the number of adjournments I have had an involvement in runs into three digits.

In my view, if a player cannot propose a date for resumption on the night, he should lose the game.

That depends. If one player insists on an adjournment, and the other player is happy to carry on, then why should the person who is happy to carry on be forced into a decision over a date?

This is what I'd expect Peaches Geldorf to come up with!

My experience is that roughly one in four adjournments lead to unnecessary complications, usually benign, such as being unable to agree a date without a lot of palaver. I have never heard a good reason not to agree to a date, the usual one is that a player has forgotten to bring his diary. He can still agree a date and then rearrange should he discover that it is inconvenient. Indeed, all the leagues I know of have a rule that obliges the players to agree a resumption time on the night. The lack of a penalty is where this falls down.

A good half of the adjournments have not been worth playing on.

If a player is determined to abuse the system then it often breaks down. I overcome this by avoiding matches in which I'd expect trouble. Voting with one's feet may not be ideal, but it is often the least bad way.

I know of one league, which having abolished adjudication was forced to reinstate it.

I presume Roger means "adjournment", not "adjudication". Does "forced" mean a groundswell of opinion, rather than anything intrinsic to Quickplay Finishes?

When it came back, there were heavyweight conditions attached

(1) both players have to agree at the start of the game (the default option is qp finish)
(2) More importantly, the players have to agree the time of resumption before electing adjournment. Venue is where the game starts. In the absence of agreement, play defaults to qp.

I concur that ensuring a resumption date has been established before the game begins is a superior option. Should a league wish to avoid QPFs, there is the non-FIDE alternative of adjudication.

I consider adjudications anathema, except when a medical condition supervenes. I prefer QPF to adjournment, mainly because of the many unnecessary resumptions and the mucking around indulged in by a minority. If I know and trust my opponent, I will adjourn if he so wishes. My most memorable adjournment was against Adam Raoof a long time ago, the position was extremely interesting, but this was the exception.

[Paul McKeown]

I haven't seen gaolbird for years. I wonder where he could have ended up?

He's still playing in the Middlesex League, rather a reformed character these days, by accounts. No brawling, talking loudly on the mobile phone whilst sat at the board, nor eating offensively yanking sarnies at the board, no jangling of bunches of keys (lock picks?) at the board, no dodgy adjournment techniques, no dodgy business practises, from reports either, although there are stories circulating of betting debts not honoured.